Me: Yes ma'am, even though,
a) there is no physical file on our shelves with your dog's name on it, and
b) our computer can't find your dog under any name you've given us,
you are correct that there is a minuscule chance that your dog has been here in the last year. But that still doesn't change the fact that I'm still not going to dispense "medication" for your dog that may have eaten rat poison. You still need to bring your dog in for an exam.
Caller: I think I'm going to start taking my dog to another vet!
FYI: I did tell her how important it was to see a vet because of the potential toxicity, but as I type this, I can't help but wonder if she'll call for copies of her records?